"The Hero"
by NirvanaGirl
Summary: THIS IS NOT C/A to clear up things, but c/a in a sense of sweet brotherly sisterlyness. This is major b/a,c/d metions, set after


Disclaimer: You think anyone would admit to what the shows become? I am entirely not doing so.  
A/N: Sappy, B/A and C/D major mentions, a sweet C/A brother/sister thing. I watched the video "Hero" some girl made and I just couldn't stop crying I watched it so many times and I could again, its so sweet even if I am not the hugest Mariah Carey fan, people should go download, instant message me at ElevatorMisfit, or e-mail Retrogirl@superheros.as, probably not very edited I can't see though my tear stained eyes, lol the screens blurry and I am a wimp so, yeah watch the vid this makes sense. Set after IWRY and Hero back to back heart breaking episodes, Please review  
  
Title: Hero, getting though it  
P.O.V take a guess.  
  
I sit next to Angel watching the stupid video I made Doyle do shortly before he… it's what I have left. And that kiss that still burns on my lips, my chest feels like someone ripped it out and squeezed it before easily stomping on it. I feel like I can't breathe, but I can't cry, not anymore, its not that I don't feel like it, I mean I seriously think there is one tear drop left in my eye. I don't remember barely ever crying this hard. I look at Angel then back at Doyle's sweet little Irish face on the screen, asking   
  
"Am I done?", I grab my chest feeling it clench once again, looking up at Angel who just looks harshly at the black fading screen, his first real friend, well besides Buffy but in a way she didn't really count, but his first true friend, is dead. Now that Doyle's gone, and we only kissed once, I know what Buffy and Angel must have felt. God how did they even make it without dying, I wish I could bite my tongue until I tasted copper for all the horrible things I said, agreeing not to restore Angel's soul with Xander, what would have happened to me if Angel wasn't here? Would I have met Doyle? Would I have ever got such a wonderful best friend like Angel? He still looks at the screen. From what Doyle told me of the 24 hour human thing Angel had, and Doyle dying, he must be crushed. He is so good; I finally can see what Buffy saw. Why was I such a shallow bitch, if I just…gave Doyle a chance maybe there would be something to live for? And if he still did what he did… at least he'd know I loved him. Just when I think I can't cry anymore, my chest constricts , and before I know what I am doing I am on the ground sobbing my heart out, I feel like I might puke if I keep this up, I can already feel the acidly bile rise in my throat. I feel Angels cold arms wrap around me, as I sob into his shirt.   
  
"How do you do it?" Even I was surprised at the timid squeak it came out as.   
  
"What?" He asked.   
  
"You been though this, I mean I know Buffy didn't…but you guys, how'd you do, how do I get though this?" I ask crying more.  
  
"I don't know." He said with honesty in his voice, his arms tighten around me. "I wish I could tell you, living without Buffy is hard…sometimes I just want to run my head into a wall, wait for sunrise, even stake myself because the pain of knowing…but knowing she's alive and possibly happy living her life, it helps. Doyle died in a good cause, he's a hero, and you are strong Cordy, you'll get though this."  
  
I note the friendly use of the name Cordy instead of Cordelia, every day he's more like a brother to me, a support system, maybe together we'll get though this.   
  
"He was, a hero, Doyle was such a hero, he died a hero." I stutter out.   
  
"This morning," Angel tells me lifting me up to lean against the chairs we occupied.  
  
"He told me after I told about giving my humanity up for Buffy that he would never sacrifice the joy of flesh for another, he proved himself wrong, he have the definition of hero, we just can't forget him, and you shouldn't, love is a beautiful thing, and as over used the saying is 'its better to love and lost than not loved at all' its true, after all the pain and death me and Buffy went though, I would never change it, I would only make it where she's always safe and happy and we could be together, don't regret your time with Doyle, he knew you loved him, he's probably watching us now, he loved the time you guys did spend together, don't tarnish it by being guilty." I look at Angel after his gentle, intelligent words. We would get though this. Together as family. 


End file.
